Every single family has issues. Some experience family conflicts often, some experience them rarely. But as long as two or more people are living under the same roof, there’s a possibility of an argument.
Different sources offer different types of parenting advice to reduce child-parent conflicts. We’ve gathered six astonishing tips for solving family issues that will help parents and children live a happier, issue-free life together.
Read here the types of parenting styles and their effects on kids.
Build Connection Through Eye Contact
One of the most important things about communication is knowing when someone is listening to you. Eye contact is one of the most certain ways to tell if the person you’re talking to is actually listening to what you have to say.
It’s important to keep eye contact while having a conversation with one of your family members. However, it’s even more important to keep eye contact during family conflicts.
It’s equally important for both parents and children to know that eye contact is important while solving family issues, but in communication in general. By looking someone in the eyes while talking to them, you’re letting them know you’re listening to what you have to say and that they fully understand what you’re saying. Looking at anything else can oftentimes be misunderstood as if you’re not listening or as a sign of disrespect.
Apply the ACT Method
The ACT method is a great way for solving family issues between children and parents. The abbreviation ACT stands for “acknowledge the feeling,” “communicate the limit,” “target acceptable alternatives.” This is one of the most common parenting tips you’ll find online.
The parents should acknowledge how a child is feeling, letting them know it’s normal to show any emotions. Telling them that you understand what they’re going through is more likely to calm down a child and quickly move to solve family issues.
Communicating the limit means that you clearly tell your child what is acceptable when it comes to showing their emotions and what isn’t. Destructive or aggressive behavior shouldn’t be accepted in any situation. And the child needs to be aware of that.
Targeting acceptable alternatives is related to giving your child alternatives on how they can show their emotions. For every negative behavior, you should give your child a couple of acceptable alternatives. It will take some time, but it’s a great way of solving family issues.
The ACT method works for small children but teens as well. You’ll need to adjust the way you approach them. The method is the same, however.
Be Clear and Firm With the Consequences
Although there are a lot of methods for reducing family conflicts and tons of parenting tips out there, some children are just stubborn. This type of approach won’t work with them.
Unfortunately, punishment is the only way they’ll understand the seriousness of the situation. Yes, presenting consequences isn’t the issue. But standing your ground is the moment when most parents fail.
Once you’ve made the consequences absolutely clear to your child, keeping your word is one of the most important things in solving family issues in the future.
Each family is different. But what should be the same is that the parents are the ones that make all the decisions when it comes to rewards and punishment. Both parents should be on the same page. If a form of punishment is taking away a gaming console from the child for a few days, both parents should stand firm with the decision and not budge even if the child changes their behavior.
It’s one of the most difficult things to do because children will try to manipulate you into reducing the punishment in every way possible. The first time you budge and reduce the punishment, the child will notice a pattern and try to manipulate you the same way every time you try to punish them.
Always Make Choices for Them
By saying you should make choices for your kids, we don’t mean that literally. We mean that you should always give them a few options — one without consequences and one with clearly noted ones.
The first choice should always be the one you prefer, and you should add a reward for good behavior. For example, “Finish your dinner, and you’ll get 30 minutes of playtime on your PlayStation.”
The second option should be the one the child would prefer. But always add a consequence for that choice! For example, “You don’t need to finish your dinner, but I’ll take away your PlayStation for a week.”
By creating these choices during family conflicts, the child will quickly realize the pattern — if they accept the choice you prefer, they’ll get rewarded for it.
Create a Routine
The number one reason why any family will get into a conflict is that at least one person has too much free time. This means that most of the house chores fall onto one person (mostly a parent) while the kids run around doing nothing around the house, creating a mess.
To avoid family conflicts, many parenting tips include creating a routine for the kids. This doesn’t mean that you should pack your kids’ schedules so they don’t have any free time. It means they should be aware that playtime needs to be earned. The daily routine should include house chores and simple tasks that will keep the kids occupied for a certain amount of time.
By creating a daily routine, not only will you be solving family issues, but you’ll be teaching the kids about the importance of discipline.
Give Appreciation and Rewards
Changing the way kids behave is one of the most nerve-racking processes that requires a ton of patience. It’s a process that can take months, especially because there are no parenting tips that will work on all children the same. Parents need to experiment with different techniques and see which one is most acceptable to the kids without causing more family conflicts along the way.
One thing that’s commonly overlooked in most parenting tips is that kids are expecting appreciation or rewards for their good behavior. Rewarding them is a great way to show them that you’re happy with the progress they’ve made.
They should be rewarded even for small accomplishments. It’s a great way to keep on track with solving family issues in the long run. These rewards don’t need to be big or expensive. Removing one thing from their chores and letting them play games for half an hour longer is enough to make them feel appreciated for their good behavior.